How to Stop Premature Ejaculation & Last Longer In Bed

How can you cure premature ejaculation & last longer in bed?

Some questions & answers from sex advice forums

Question: I have heard that the average man ejaculates within the first few minutes of entering the woman. Well, I am the average man and I find that to have premature ejaculation is rather embarrassing. I would like to be able to have intercourse with my girlfriend for a extended amount of time and be able to control myself instead of just going in and shooting off in a couple of minutes. I have seen online adverts for delay sprays, pills, etc. I'm not really looking for anything like that. I heard about techniques that can be used to make oneself have great stamina. Do you have any advice so that I can build up my stamina?

Answer 1: How old are you? I am 29 I have noticed with age that I am not as easily aroused. As for lasting, my tips are: Have lots and lots of foreplay and lots and lots of sex. That way she is much more excited and you are less excited when you get down to intercourse. I can hold out till my wife has her orgasm 99.9% of the time. A good part of the time we orgasm within seconds of each other or even at the same time. It wasn't always that way though, when I was younger it was all I could do to keep from having an orgasm while I was making love.

Question: I'm 19 and have only recently started having problems with quick ejaculation. I've been having sex for the past 5 years and only recently stopped using condoms with my most recent girl. I have never had a problem with coming too quickly until now and don't know what to do. Sometimes I am able to last for 20 minutes or so but most of the time it between 30 seconds and 3 minutes. is there anything I can do? I feel bad for my girlfriend when I come so quickly.

Answer 1: You said you only recently stopped using condoms and that's most likely your problem. My boyfriend can't last as long without a condom because he's too sensitive. This is most likely your problem, so my only advice is to wear a condom. You can also do Kegels. It's an exercise for the muscle that makes you ejaculate. Basically when you go pee, start and stop twenty or thirty times and you'll be doing the exercise. The theory is you clench the muscle as you become too aroused and it will reduce your arousal and slow you down.

Answer 2: I'm the first guy my girl has slept with so her vagina is quite tight. At the start of our sexual relationship I had a hard time controlling myself and had premature ejaculation all the time, which of course wasn't her fault at all! We have since overcome this problem and I can control myself a lot better. The only problem we still seem to have is in the classic doggy style position (which we both love). As most people know this puts a lot of friction on your penis and although we love this position we can't really do it as I ejaculate far too quickly again. We have come up with a great way to overcome this. Instead of the girl being on all fours and the guy on his knees entering from behind try having the girl lie on her side (slightly turned face down, but only slightly) and the guy lying behind her and lifting up the leg of the girl which is furthest from the bed or surface you're on, then if the guy then moves his chest away from the girl's back it gives you a great feeling and gives you the situation of doggy style without the huge amount of friction which leads to a quick ejaculation!

Question: I was hoping you could give me some advice. Every time I have sex with my girlfriend it is over within 30 seconds of me entering her. That's premature ejaculation for you, I think! It makes me laugh when I read about men complaining that they can only last two minutes, I'd love to be able to last that long! I'm sure it's not down to nerves as I usually don't think about my failures! Do you have any statistics of the average time that a man can last before he comes? Is it really physically possible for men to be able to last for 10-20 minutes or is this all exaggeration? I look forward to your advice.

Answer: Usually a man can only last 3.5 minutes of penetration before he comes. There are two methods you can use to try and control how quickly you come:

1. The stop start method. Enjoy sex until you feel yourself about to come. Then you can pull out and enjoy giving oral sex to your girl until you are ready to penetrate again. (This can have the added bonus of arousing her.) Start again once your arousal has dropped.

2. Prior Masturbation. If you masturbate before having sex (long enough to allow you time to recover and get hard but not too long so as it to be a waste) you should be able to last longer the second time around.

You have stated that you don't think it is down to nerves. But you don't have to be physically nervous. This can be subconscious. There are other reasons as well.

- You're not relaxing (or anxious)
- You're expecting too much
- Your foreplay (or just your imagination) is bringing you close to climax without you realizing it
- You're concentrating on what's happening

I know the last one sounds strange so let me explain. Younger men (new to sex) ejaculate more quickly than "veterans". I don't know how old you are or how long you have been having sex so I can't judge. Usually, the reason less experienced men reach orgasm more quickly is because they are thinking about what is happening and as such they are intensifying their arousal. Once you stop thinking about it you will last longer and yet not lose any of the feeling.

Question: I have had a problem with premature ejaculation for ever. I have tried many things but none have really worked. I was wondering if anyone else out here has had this problem and what did you do and did it really work. What I use now is a the rubber band on a penis pump that guys use who have erectile dysfunction.

Answers:

1 The Endure Climax Control Sleeve allows you to control your climax and most importantly may allow you the opportunity to satisfy each other. Endure Climax Control Lubricating Gel is an aid to help you control your climax. The maximum strength climax control lubricating gel is specially designed to penetrate the skin and mildly desensitize the penis.

2 Of course you know the standard answer: go ahead and ejaculate quickly the first time, then take more time for the second. This should help to prevent premature ejaculation.

3 Many desensitizing agents include benzocaine or lidocaine. You really need to use a condom with them. Otherwise the desensitizing effect also affects the woman's organs. It is something we tell all our customers in the adult store I work in. Most of the people say they didn't think of that! Prozac and similar Serotonin reuptake inhibitor drugs have been used successfully to prevent premature ejaculation but sometimes it causes just the opposite - inability to have an orgasm - and, as with anything, there are side effects - ask your doctor.

4 Those drugs are known to have anorgasmia as a side effect. But in severe cases of PE, in low doses, they can help to stop you coming too quickly..

5 I had the same problem up until I reached 30. For me I think it was a confidence thing. I was so concerned about pleasing my wife that I was obsessed by how to prevent premature ejaculation. She became my coach and taught me to relax and not worry. Soon I believed her and over a short period of time my issues were gone. It got to the point where I was outlasting her and I had to learn how to sense her orgasms. Hers were not always obvious, but in time I learned. It is amazing what a learning experience marriage is year after year. PE does appear to be something that gets better as you get older, although I do also believe that being able to relax has a whole lot to do with it. I also think you have to really be able to recognize when you first feel your climax building up. A lot of times you can stop it before it really gets going, thus training your body to naturally relax over some time.

Question: My doctor is saying I need Zoloft for my depression. I also happen to climax too quickly. I have heard that one of the side effects of Zoloft is that it can control PE. Is this true?

Answer 1: I found that Zoloft, which I was taking for anxiety, certainly delayed my ejaculation. I would not advise taking it as a cure, though.

Answer 2: I found that on 50 mg a day of Zoloft my orgasm was delayed but more intense . So I suggest that you may find your ejaculation problems are cured or treated well with a little Zoloft.

Answer 3: I had to take Wellbutrin to get my sex drive back when I was on Zoloft. So be careful you don't go from rapid ejaculation to no ejaculation!

Answer 4: I found my ejaculation delayed, and my orgasm had no intensity or pleasure in it.

Question: My doctor gave me Prozac for PE, but I didn't like it. I have heard that breathing correctly can slow down one's ejaculation. How do I do this?

Answer 1: Breathe very slowly and deeply during sex. Each time you breathe out, relax. Allow your tension to slip away. Another thing that you might find helpful is to use loads of lube so that her vagina is very, very slippery. You will get much less friction, much less stimulation, to your penis this way, and you will find that you can thrust for much longer before you ejaculate. Also, I have found that squeezing the head of my penis between my finger and thumb can stop my ejaculation. But it is actually quite uncomfortable to do this, so I don't recommend it. Another method to stop premature ejaculation that I have tried is to put a rubber band like the ones used by guys with diabetes who need help to keep up their erection around the base of my penis and testicles. This keeps the semen from flowing freely and keeps me hard after I have come. But for goodness' sake guys, don't tie it too tight or leave it on too long. Also, I wonder if Viagra is any use here? If it keeps you hard after you have come, wouldn't that be a way to go on thrusting until she comes, even if you have ejaculated already?

Question: I have only been married a short time and premature ejaculation is ruining my sex life. I ejaculate within thirty seconds of entering her, though if we have sex a second time in the night I can last five minutes on a good day. I need help to end this quickly.

Answer 1: Yes, I can empathize with this problem. I am a guy with constant early ejaculation problems. I get it under control then I relax my attention and wham! before I know it, I'm coming too soon again. The answer for me is to be constantly aware of what my body is doing. It takes away from the spontaneity of lovemaking a bit, but it works, and since I want to make my partner happy, I think it's important to control my ejaculation. I wait until I am on the verge of orgasm, then I pull out of her vagina. If she is very aroused at this point, I will keep a finger in there to keep her G spot stimulated. I must admit she doesn't like this as much as my penis, but if I am to have any chance of lasting, I need to do this. When I am relaxed, and the level of my sexual arousal has gone down, I reinsert my penis into her vagina and begin thrusting again. I can usually last for two or three minutes before I need to pull out again. I have also found that lots and lots of sex helps. I think it makes the whole thing more normal, less exciting, so the stimulus to ejaculate in her is much lower.

Another thing that works for me is to focus on something outside myself - so kissing her breasts, stroking her belly, whatever, but doing it with full concentration. I am not sure how this works , but my guess is that it takes my attention away from my own level of arousal and puts the focus on something other than my ejaculation.

Answer 2: Masturbating before sex should help, but then so should making sure she has an orgasm before you enter her.

Answer 3: Have sex more often. Do it again thirty minutes after the first time. Use loads of lube, including your own semen in her vagina the second time around, The lack of friction will help you last longer. Enjoy making love in the woman on top sex position. She can control the depth and speed of thrusting, while your hip movements are much more restricted, and not being able to thrust will prolong your excitement and delay shooting your load. She can also ride you in a way that allows her to position you both for her best experience. Stop when you feel you're about to climax. Have you tried having your wife on top, riding your cock? Also make sure she is adequately aroused so that she has lots of her own lube. And relax! Don't clench your muscles. The more relaxed you are, you will find you automatically last longer in bed during sex.